I was being bullied by a kid named Ariel. He was a year ahead of me and we shared a P.E class at the same time. I don't remember what it was I did to get his attention, but whatever it was, I was his favorite whipping boy.
Every day at P.E., I would do whatever I could to avoid eye contact or be alone around him. More than once he whooped me good in the locker room, with other boys standing around while I got a beating.
He would wait around during lunch outside the cafeteria and I remember one day hearing him say, "Good; he's here" when I walked out after lunch. I tried to avoid him but he cornered me and picked on me some more.
I was a small kid; asthmatic when I was young and not too athletic. I was into music as a band geek and made friends wherever I went. Physical and mental toughness were not my strong traits at that age. I was considered a "nice guy".
I was embarrassed to tell my Father and humiliated at how I felt every day at school. I even hid it from my friends so they wouldn't know.
My Momma always taught me to turn the other cheek. She said to be the bigger man and walk away. My Dad always told me that fighting never solved anything.
I deeply love both my parents and they were teaching me what they had been taught as children. What I learned about there philosophy when it came to conflict and bullies can be summed up in one word.
Hogwash.
My life at school took a turn for the better when I got cornered one day outside the cafeteria with Ariel picking on me again and letting me have it.
I snapped. Flipped out. Had enough. I was over this.
So, I let out a primal yell, grabbed both of his upper arms, stepped behind him with one of my legs and slammed him on the concrete. Hard.
His melon bounced off of the ground with a pretty nasty sound and all the air came out of his lungs with a big whoosh. He just laid there, out cold. It was surreal in a bad way.
I froze. His friends froze. People watching froze. And Ariel was just laying there, out cold.
Not knowing what else to do, I ran. Fast. Hid out for the rest of the day and went home without incident. Didn't tell my parents, didn't tell my friends. I didn't say a word to anyone.
I felt awful because I hurt him. And I also felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I wasn't his or anyone else's "boy" anymore.
Ariel never bothered me again. In P.E. the next day, he wouldn't even make eye contact. He actually left whenever I came into the locker room. I never heard from him or saw him after lunch.
Ariel had mistaken kindness for weakness. He thought because I was small, friendly and wasn't doing anything back to him, that it was okay to keep doing what he wanted with no consequences.
All of us are watching a perfect example of it right now in the news. The United Nations, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to go soft on the penalties it was going to level against North Korea for the alleged nuclear test.
The U.N., with a fine track record of successes throughout history, particularly in dealing with genocide, dictators and oil-for-food programs, definitely needs to get over to http://www.shaolinsecrets.com/ and get as many copies of Secrets of the Shaolin Temple Volume I as they have members and begin studying them. Quickly.
In Secrets of the Shaolin Temple Volume I, there are entire sections dedicated to defense reactions and skills as it comes to combat arts, but also to the mental approach of combat.
Not only is defense a physical skill, but the majority of a proper defense is the mindset of the practitioner; the attitude and desire of the warrior to dedicate one hundred percent of his body and mind to his defensive strategy.
When you are training, what happens when your opponent throws out a smashing round house kick to your head and you "sort of" defend it.
Yep. Snoozeville. And a bunch of Advil for the next couple of days.
What happens when you are in business and someone hits you with a lawsuit, especially a questionable one, and you don't take it seriously; get an attorney to answer it, and answer it with both guns blazing.
Yep. You get your rear end handed to you and you're out all the dough they sued you for plus their court costs and yours, not to mention the sleepless nights.
How you react defensively and then counter attack is one of the highest levels of skills that there is in the arts and in life.
The constant reading of military history, great political leaders as well as business successes all show that the great leaders in these areas all understood how proper defensive reactions and then counter attacks would save the day.
They understood that underestimating you opponent and allowing attacks or challenges to go unanswered - or worse - half-heartedly defended - only encourages more aggressive moves.
Many countries in the world, the United States included, and the United Nations all have histories of "turning the other cheek" and trying to use "talking" and "appeasement" to deal with what are, in essence, just bullies.
Bullies mistake kindness for weakness. They think a lack of response from someone they attack or pick on as a lack of desire to defend, not a show of restraint.
No one advocates just running around whipping up on anyone who looks at you funny. We are talking about what is the right thing to do when faced with a combative situation and you know that the mentality and actions of the party you are dealing with is a bully.
Using the "Puppy Dog" Defense - where you throw yourself on your back, legs in the air with a big smile that says "Rub my tummy" is not a good defense when faced with a combative situation.
Let's hope we all can learn what's the right thing to do from bullies like Ariel.
Best,
William Huff
P.S. - Defensive and counter attacking skills are vital to your training and your life. To get access to some of the oldest and most effective strategies there is, get over to http://www.shaolinsecrets.com/ and get your copy of Secrets of the Shaolin Temple Volume I.